Fate

I had coffee with a friend this evening. Something funny occurred to me. I met this person for the first time when I was in 4th or 5th grade. She was probably about how old I am now (early 20's). Now we are friends.

(side note: both she and her husband were HUGE mentor figures in middle and high school. We played music together. They led my youth group for a while. etc. etc. etc....now we're good friends.)

Now, I don't know how many twenty-something's are out there thinking, "I want to meet some 5th graders. They'll probably grow up to be really close friends of mine." It's just odd how things work out sometimes.

I read an interesting book by James Hillman a couple months ago. It's called The Soul's Code. The whole book is based on an idea that each individual has a unique calling or purpose toward which he or she is living. Hillman calls it the "acorn theory." And rather than thinking of human development as "growing up," he constantly refers to it as "growing down." In each of us, according to Hillman, lies a daimon. The daimon chooses the conditions into which you are born. It chooses the people who come in and out of your life. The daimon is this divine, other-worldly entity that must come to terms with its Earthbound-ness.

It is widely accepted that our early childhood experiences shape us and mold us into who we will become. Supposedly, your personality is mostly developed in childhood and remains stagnant for most of your life (according to some theorists anyway). What is so interesting about Hillman's idea is that it flies in the face of our conventional thinking.

People mostly think about cause and effect. For example...I have a fear of redheads because my mom has red hair and she dropped me on my head when I was a baby. So and so did such and such; therefore, I now believe this or that and behave a particular way.

Hillman says, no, that's not the whole story. He says there is a spirit or soul or god or daimon or whatever...and rather than looking backwards on your life like a history textbook, it is more useful to look at your life as moving TOWARDS something (as opposed to from something or because of something). All of these formative experiences you had are not just accidents that resulted in the effects you are now stuck with. The YOU-that-knows, your daimon, your soul, God, or whatever-you-call-it CHOSE these experiences for a reason. That reason is your purpose and your calling -- your fate.

These are all tough ideas to swallow. I like to believe I am in control. I decide what to do. I, I, I, me, me, me. If Hillman has any shred of truth to his thinking, there is some underlying force or destiny that has brought me to this point. There are strange forces at work, and my "I" doesn't always get to call the shots. "I" didn't get to choose when, where, or to whom I was born. "I" didn't choose where we lived or moved or where "I" went to school. "I" don't choose who cuts me off on the road. "I" don't choose who screws me over or hurts me or hurts my friends. "I" didn't choose to be a musician. I was destined to be one.

"I" didn't choose to meet my friend when I was in elementary school, and she certainly didn't choose to meet me. But the more I'm alive - find me in forty years and maybe my thinking will have changed - I sense more and more that Hillman is on to something. These chance meetings and happenings...these "coincidences" that set the stage for the present and future: they may not be accidents at all. They might be the work of some unseen hand...some god or daimon that has a plan, some sort of purpose.

To me, that idea is equally as comforting as it is terrifying. But more frequently, I keep seeing "happy accidents" transform people's lives. I think there's a worldview that accounts for these as mere coincidence. That's fine if you think like that. But I sense a spirit or some sort of magic at play.

Yet no matter what, I am merely grateful that things have worked out the way they have thus far because I know good folks to drink coffee with.